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Scene #14 – Take your time, take your time, take your time

March 11, 2012

Scene #14 – INT – Slight Rain – Car

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Aubrey is on the wheel and Chris is in passenger seat. Chris has a sick look on his face while Aubrey seems to be in the middle of a lecture.

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Aubrey

There’re over two hundred types of Non-Earth organisms on Earth. Actually Earth’s been gaining reputation as a fantastic getaway spot. You might ask me, “why”? The answer is that it’s so easy to blend in. Humans’ senses are dominated by sight, so how do you trick a human’s senses and blend in?

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Aubrey turns to look at Chris. Slowly, her irises turn a pale white, a vein pops on top of her forehead, and a hairy lump sprouts under her chin. Chris gasps and tries to look away, sweat pellets race down his face. However he can’t help but notice that the little lump was trembling as if it’s got a life on its own. Aubrey smiles. The lump gives birth to a third eye, quickly followed by a fourth and fifth eye.

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Aubrey

All we have to do is refract and reflect light. Is this how you imagine aliens to look like?

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Chris passes out.

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Aubrey

Oh, boy.

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[A few moments later]

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Chris regains consciousness, springs back in his seat, his widened eyes staring at Aubrey in disbelief.

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Aubrey

Oh chill out Chris, don’t act like you have just seen the ugliest, gruesome-est thing. Have you ever seen Jersey Shore? I have seen uglier humans!

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Chris

Huh…can you switch back now?

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Aubrey

Oh oops, silly, silly me.

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Aubrey leans into Chris.

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Aubrey

Boo.

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Chris faints.

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Aubrey

Somebody should really help this boy.

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[Some moments later]

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Chris wakes up. He turns nervously to Aubrey.

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Aubrey

Better now?

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Aubrey’s appearance is reverted back to her original state.

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Chris

You are back to looking like a human?

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Aubrey

Oh stop it, and I don’t really look like that!

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Chris

(confused)

Like what?

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Aubrey

When I have five eyes on my chin? That was my pet, Fluffy! Ain’t he cute?

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Chris

Sweet lamingtons… that thing was called Fluffy? Which part of it looked fluffy to you?

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Aubrey

What are you talking about! He’s the cutest thing ever! I can’t believe you fainted, you are truly a wuss!

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Chris

I am not going to debate. So you can transform to look like anything you want?

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Aubrey

I didn’t ‘transform’. This little gadget bends and refracts light to change your visual perception of me. Back where I was from, these are toys for 7 year olds, can’t believe they’d be handy here.

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Chris

Explain to me again why you, the princess of your alien planet decided to come to this planet?

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Aubrey

To find the best mating partner for me.

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Chris

I understand that part, but what I don’t understand is why of all 7 billion people on this planet, why Tom? I know the guy my whole life, hardly seems like a viable mating option for an alien princess. Wouldn’t you and your supercomputer machine pick out the guy with the best generic combo makeup on this planet? Like a guy with Einstein’s brains and Brad Pitt’s looks and Michael Jordan’s athleticism, a man’s man with a big epic glorious beard or something?

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Aubrey

What this is about Chris, is the generic combination between person A and person B. There is a very exact science in picking out the optimal match in a given population for an individual. The human race is still very young and that’s why you are still relying on touch, feel, and what have you, to find partners. In fact, humans don’t even have a total grasp of the generic makeup of humans, you guys just lump it altogether and call it the “DNA”. Very raw.

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Chris

Hm. Let me think about this one and I will get back to you.

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Aubrey

4 hours to Hollywood, you take your time.

Cut to scene #15

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